Dear Carla,

Non-edit day is a scary thing. And and I’m sure that my letter is going to be incredibly wooden and robotoic because of it.

I just watched the pilot of the Big Bang Theory which I seem to remember yoi you said you liked. I thought it was really funny, but I really am not feeling good enough to sit through right now, so I’m saving it for sn another day.

Today, IU- I’ve decided, is going to be Ben’s Book Club Tuesday. I’m reading the Kite Runner right now, and I have about four hundred books ready to read after that/- . I’m trying to finish it tofd- tp- todsay- today so I can start the new Darren Shan book after that. After that I have the Slaughterhouse Five. Then I have the othre- other d-Darren Shan and h-then I have a di-trilogy of books which I’m gonna start ASAP. A-(All this non editing makes me look like I have a su-stutter)

ANYWAY. IU-I’m going to review the Kite Runner now. (Yes, dork…)

The book is basically sa-a fictional biography ogf- ogf- of some dude called Amir. It’s set in Afghanistan and then moves to ASm-America for a bit. The book is r-written very simply, in the presentr- and past tense and there’s something very emphatic about thre lann- the language. The writer (Khaled Hosseni) has a talentr - talent for incurring emotions in a reader. You feel what Amir feels, and a revle-ref-revelation to him is a revelation to uys- us. 

However, the book has its faults. At points we feel detatched from the charra-charactewr-character and really couldn’t care less what happens to him. Some of the imagery is childish and quite clumsy, and at times can be pretentious and patronizing at the same time. The book also is incredibly clichéd and there is nothing new about the way it is written.

If I was gonna report on it, and give it a f-grader-grade (I haven’t finih-finished it yet, remember) - I’d give it a… B+ if I was feeling generous. Doo-don’t let that stop you reading it though, because it’s thoroughly i-enjoyable and just a simpl-simple anou-enough book to read.

About that mural thaty-that you were going to paint. I had a couple of ideas (though I really like your one). Firsl-firstly, I’d k-just like tro-0-to say that the place sounds awesome. It’s the kind of thing I’d like to have to sleep in in the summer. How al-awesome would that be? To sleep in there when it’s hoit-hot at night and just be all cosy and talk to friends and shiz,m- and have a T.V and whatnot. 

To continiu-continue, I thought you should paint a huge tree, like the branches of it. Since it’s high up - you could make a feelin- feeling of bein-being amongst the leaves, and just a general noi-nice feeling.

I am really annoye- I’m fucking pissed off with the a0f-facebook app Compare People. You know if you click on the app on someone’s profile you get to compare them 30 times to other people? Well someone has been doing that to me, and just comparing me down all the timne- mite- time, it’s really malicious and just a rather nasty thing to do.

I’m surpirse- surpirse- surpires- surpries- surpi-0- surpir-surprie-surprised that I haven’t made a huge typo yet that I couldn’t correct. (I SWEAR ON MY FUCKING LIFE THAT WAS NOT PLANNED. THAT IS SERIU-SERIOUS FUCKING IRONY THERE. I JUST GOT A BLOCK ON HOW TO SPEL-SPELL!)

Okay Carla, gotta sign out for today - I want to finih-finish the Kite Runner soon, so I’m going to read for an hour. Hope you don’t mind…

OH! Your challenghe- challenge for today is show me (photo) soi-some stuff you’ve done in art, and I might do the same for you!

Lots of love,

UY-Your fi-friend that is kind of rreg-regretting suggesting non-edit day because he sucks ad-at it,

Ben.

P.S You get to suggest a day for anb-another time!

P.P.S Ben nearly let out a cry, but Carla screamed before he could. People were yelling out front in shock. Ben started to smell smoke, which was now trickling under the door. People were crying now, and he could hear footsteps and the sound of roaring flames. The door was metal, but the flames were creeping under the crack. Carla was frozen in surprise. Ben looked behind him at the articles on the table, and made a split-second grab for them. He grabbed the key on an impulse, grabbed Carla, and kicked down the door with his foot. 

It clanged open, and smoke invaded them. The smell reminded Ben of burnt steak. Meat. Meat, raw meat, that’s what we are. He coughed his way through the smoke, and pulled Carla along - who was still dazed. Flames were crawling around the library like wounded men. Ben thought, as he glanced around, that for a moment he had seen someone being burnt alive. No one trapped here, he thought, don’t be stupid. But he knew he was just trying to persuade himself. Volumes of books were being swallowed by greedy tongues of yellow and orange. They licked and slobbered at the shelves, grabbing and crackling at everything they could see. Ancient tomes were lost in an instant and suddenly Ben realised the danger he was in. His eyes were stinging, his vision was blurred. His skin was starting to singe from the intense heat he was feeling. The flames were closing in on him. He could see them circling him as if he were the centre of some ritual. The building was collapsing around them. They weren’t going to make it. Carla squeezed his hand and began to sob. Ben was sure he was going to be roasted alive. 

Then, a burst of light shattered through everything. It swarmed around both Ben and Carla, and when they looked at each other - it seemed to be coming from their eyes. The light was silvery-white, and it was twisting around them, fending off the flames. The light danced nearer and then wrapped itself tightly around the two of them. It felt solid, like a warm bandage. Like a blanket. Maternal. Comfort. Thoughts raced through Ben’s mind as it touched him. He could still feel Carla’s hand as the light began to squeeze them. Suddenly, there was a burst of gold and Ben felt his ribs cracking and his pelvis being crushed against his muscle. 

The feeling stopped. Ben opened his screwed up eyes, and heard Carla yell behind him.

“Where the hell are we?” Carla screamed, as the two of them looked into a thick tangle of jungle before them.

Ben felt a tear drop from the corner of his eye.

“A million miles from home,” he gulped.

P.P.P.S I vote Freddie Highmore plays me in the movie of this story. NOT. COS HE SUX